🌟 5 Years Since My ADHD Diagnosis, What I’d Tell Anyone Newly Diagnosed
- Kim To
- Feb 19
- 5 min read
It's been five years since I was diagnosed with combined ADHD.
I still remember, like it was yesterday, the moment I read the long list of ADHD symptoms and resonated with 90% of them, the constant boredom, the low moods, the emotional dysregulation, the inattention, the zoning out, and the hyperactivity of not being able to sit still and watch a movie because my brain would be thinking about 10 other things at once.
Finally, there was a word that described my experience ....ADHD.
It still feels like yesterday, even though I got diagnosed 5 years ago and have worked so hard to learn about myself and to support late-diagnosed women and non-binary people with ADHD.
I still get people reaching out to speak with me, and I thought it would be good to write down what I’d suggest doing if you know someone diagnosed with ADHD, or if you’ve just been newly diagnosed yourself. 💬
💭 Take Some Time to Digest the News
It can come as quite a shock, there may be mixed emotions: anger, grief, happiness, relief.
All of these emotions take time to process. I felt all of these and still feel them sometimes but less so as the years go on.
When you’re diagnosed late with ADHD, you really do need to take time to grieve.
Grieving is important because it’s about taking the time to reflect on:
The missed opportunities
The times you were told off for being different or not conforming
The “what ifs” — what if you’d been diagnosed earlier?
💛 Take Time to Forgive Yourself
You also need to take time to forgive yourself. Perhaps for the mistakes, the moments you blurted something out you wish you hadn’t, the impulsive decisions you made.
Maybe you drank to self-soothe. Maybe you felt so lost that you engaged in activities you wish you hadn’t.
These are real themes and feelings to deal with.
You didn’t know you had ADHD, and now you do. So you can forgive that version of yourself.
I think looking back on your life with a new lens of having ADHD can generate new insights about yourself and new learnings for your future self. For example, I forgave myself for constantly job-hunting and travelling so much in my early 20s.
🌤️ The Relief
There’s also relief, now that you know and have a name for what you’ve been feeling.
Those emotions you were navigating weren’t all in your head the boredom, the pain of not being understood and those feelings were real.
Maybe you just needed a reason to understand why you weren’t able to be the best version of yourself. And that’s okay.
We can find relief in the fact that we now know what we’re up against, and there are actually so many things we can engage in to learn more about how our brains are wired and how to work with them rather than against them.
Talk to People Who Have ADHD
I learned the most from just reading other people’s experiences Reddit threads, Facebook groups, online forums, and I even created my own WhatsApp group (it’s still going, to be honest!).
I also find that meetup.com is a great place to find very niche groups
It’s nice to know you’re not alone that the challenges you experience are the same ones a total stranger with ADHD can relate to and empathize with.
Feeling seen and heard is powerful.
Find your tribe, get the tips, tricks, and advice from the community. 🌍
💊 Consider Medication
I jumped on medication straight away, I knew I needed it desperately as a tool to get me out of my severe depression and to help me retrain my brain to focus, because at that point, I couldn’t focus on anything.
ADHD medication has done wonders for my life and emotional regulation. I take 5mg of Methylphenidate once in the morning, then after 4 hours, the medication wears off, and I eat lunch. After eating lunch, I take one another 5mg tablet to get me through the afternoon slump.
For me, I see it as one of the tools in my arsenal to manage my ADHD not the only one, but a key one that helps me live more in balance.
📚 Read Books and Listen to Podcasts About ADHD
I used to consume everything about ADHD, books, podcasts, articles. and I’ve stopped now since I’ve learnt most of what I can, but I’d still encourage people to find the ones that help them understand ADHD and the neurological impact behind it.
Some of my favourites:
📖 Scattered Minds by Gabor Maté I strongly believe ADHD and trauma are linked, and he explains it beautifully.
📖 ADHD 2.0 — another great book for understanding how to manage ADHD practically.
Short reads from additude.mag is great as well for quick reads and free resources
Follow people online who talk about ADHD and share regular tips on managing it that’s how I started learning strategies that really stuck.
💼 Consider Applying for Access to Work (UK)
If you’re in the UK, Access to Work is a government scheme that can fund ADHD coaching and other support.
You have to be self-employed or in employment to qualify, but I 100% encourage it, because ADHD coaching is one of those must-haves to dedicate time to figuring out systems and processes that work for your ADHD brain.
Getting a good ADHD coach is key shop around and pick the one you can see being your team player.
👉 Learn more about Access to Work for ADHD coaching here: https://adhduk.co.uk/access-to-work/
🔁 ADHD Is a Lifelong Condition to Manage
I truly believe ADHD is a lifelong condition to manage.
As your job or life situation changes, maybe you decide to have children, get a promotion, or start a new business, your environment will challenge you in new ways.
So learning how to manage your ADHD during those transitions is a lifelong journey and discovery. There may be many chapters to your life, like becoming a parent, being made redundant, etc., that means your ADHD can be impacted and needs to be understood. Women who are going through menopause, for example, may need extra support during this time to manage their ADHD, as hormone changes may impact how ADHD shows up in their lives.
That’s why I’m thinking about setting up a paid membership for people who want to stay engaged with this lifelong learning.
I think that’s why I’ve dedicated five years to learning about my ADHD and supporting others so I can hold myself accountable to keep learning about it, too.
🌟 Support, Share & Subscribe
If this resonated with you, please consider sharing it with someone who needs to hear it.
Your support helps me keep creating free ADHD and neurodivergent tools for the community. 💛
🔗 My Coaching & Consulting Website: www.ownyourflair.com🧩 Free Neurodivergent Tools for Everyone: https://www.flairtoolkit.com/💻 Disability & Tech Neuroinclusion Platform (with free screeners): https://www.flairya.com/
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